This is CFnm = Clothed Female (CF), nude male (nm). We are CFnm SF and comprised of 2 Female Tops.

 

In general an event is any CFnm gathering and a party is a subset of that. It is used interchangeably via this description.

 

CFnm SF is a specialty event and party.  We structure our event with games and light play to encourage introductions and fun between Female Dominants/Tops and  male bottoms. Our attendees are 21 years old to 75+ years young. The minimum is 21 years old.

 

These events or parties are not "drop in" parties,  it requires a pre-purchase, reservation or invitation due to it's specialty listing and intimacy.

 

Some attendees have indicated that CFnm feels like a men's locker room with Female reporters admiring or ignoring the nude men.

 

Provided it is consent driven and a sexualized event, it is important for our attendees to understand that this is a binary event composed of Ladies and Gentlemen. Females/Ladies are Tops and males/Gentlemen are bottoms. Female Tops are clothed (CF) and present in good faith to the party. The male bottom is expected to be nude (nm), service oriented, and reveal male oriented genitalia (penis/cock and balls flesh) to the Females based upon the terms of the event/party set by the Hostesses (i.e. a strip tease involving a penis costume). The party has activities of which ensures everyone meets each other. Some activities involve touching (gauntlet style/round-robin), other activities are observation related and some activities/games have award winners.

 

Since negotiations can be simple or complex depending on the activity/play or scene, please be prepared to discuss difficult consent matters. Each attendee should have their own consent guidelines and limits. The negotiation/consent question of: "Anything I need to know?" is really too broad to be reassuring. For example, if an attendee has had major surgery/ies, non-congruent gender genitalia or altered genitalia (revealed or hidden) or other medical issues (stroke survivor, prosthetic hip, etc), your activities/play partner may inquire about it. This is likely to assure good faith and clear consent with those you share activities with or play with during any touch related portion of the event. If one of the attendees (CF and/or nm) indicates that certain information is "personal" to their activity/play partner, then the other should respectfully opt out of interacting with other activity/play partner or discuss a less intimate activity/play, i.e. CF spanks the shoulders of a nm or the nm massages the hands of the CF. This is an intimate specialty event, your assumptions are your assumptions and may not reflect reality. Please negotiate based on your own good faith terms and comfort, however you should likely ask the same questions of all of your potential activity pairings/play partners to assure consistent parameters regarding your negotiations, consent, limits, narrative, desires, and kink. If it's too hard to remember all of your consent guidelines and parameters consistently, WRITE THEM DOWN AND BRING THE PAPER WITH YOU.

 

These consent driven parties or events: 

• include high touch amongst attendees-with permission, (i.e. help tie a bow on a penis/cock, etc.)

• require honest dialogue regarding limits and expectations, particularly during gauntlet/round robin style activities where the Top indicates her desired activity for the bottom and he chooses to accept or not and indicates how much (i.e. spanking. . he must advise if he wants to be spanked, how hard to be spank and where he wants to be spanked)

• may include temporary pairings of (CF and nm), (CF and CF) or (nm and nm) to perform shared activities for a task and/or award, 

• include CBT (cock ball touch or torture depending on attendee's consensual pain/pleasure),

• include service oriented activities

• request feats of strength via a flesh appendage- penis/cock-balls, 

• disallow wanking by an attendee who is not actively involved in a scene,

• disallow photography, recording devices and cellular phones/devices with recording/photo capabilities (Hostesses discretion),

• include nudity (male definitely particularly the penis/cock and balls; possible for Females--her choice and/or as negotiated),

• requires attendees to clean their scene areas/physical space-equipment post-scene, 

• may include during the "open" play portion of the party some BDsm copulation sex of Female(s) with the nude male(s). 

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Any attendee can opt out of each activity or leave the event early but opting out completely of the event is not desirable due to the CF to nm balance. These small, intimate parties typically have a 1 CF to 2 nm ratio. Opting out often or opting out completely displaces this gentle ratio and impacts other attendees.You are not expected to play with anyone or everyone for that matter but interacting/mingling with everyone is anticipated. Please consider (specialty) parties of which you are more participatory to ensure the worthiness of your support and overall fit. 

 

To preserve the energy of the event, we reserve the right to screen all attendees upon arrival. Misrepresentation and/or deception of attendees (wrong name, reservation/ticket purchased by someone else to conceal your identity or fake credentials, etc.) are considered serious offenses and attendee will be refused admittance despite possessing a reservation, invitation and/or a ticket to the event.

 

Violations of  consent: which can include an attendee making others at the event uncomfortable, will not be tolerated. We expect everyone to abide by the Hostesses rules and compose themselves as proper Ladies and Gentlemen. While this is CFnm, there will be no hazing or harassing behavior toward any of the attendees, it is rude and not a culture that is supported at these events/parties.

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If a consent violation is uncovered by the Hostesses, the next steps are entirely at the Hostesses discretion of which the Hostesses are the final arbiters (decision makers). A report will be documented and followed up accordingly. We may interrupt an activity, scene, or the event and ask all attendees involved to leave and offer counsel to the person making the report and/or victimized which may include contacting the local police-special victim's unit (depending on severity). If you do not feel comfortable on how we handle these violations, DO NOT COME TO OUR EVENT/PARTY. By attending the CFnm SF event/party, you are agreeing to our terms in handling these violations.

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Sexism or cissexism are negative behaviors and actions toward non-cis individuals (look it up - that is the definition). The CFnm SF Hostesses are not tolerant of negative behaviors however lacking interest is not sexism or cissexism. 

 

We have advised of what the event entails and what it looks like. If you are uncomfortable with these facts, event details, or dislike good faith negotiations/consent, then DO NOT COME TO OUR EVENT/PARTY - CFnm SF is not a good fit for you however it does not mean you are excluded from the event. If you exhibit bad behaviors, negative behaviors, or violate consent based on these terms, then you will be excluded from these events.  Again, we do not condone ANYONE mocking anyone else or disagreeing with anyone's narratives, desires/beliefs, incongruencies, limits, concerns, or kink. 

 

We have been hosting CFnm events since March 2013 and there is always a debate because of the event's binary nature and it's focus on consent. There are many different BDsm events/parties in the greater San Francisco/Bay area community; there are specialty private and public events (men's events, women's events, age limiting events, and trans people events, for example) and there are also many open-listed events too (no specific sex, gender, age, or orientation). There are different events that meet some or all of each person's narrative, desires, and kinks. 

 

Each kinkster should choose to bypass those events that are not a good fit and support those that do fit (a little and/or a lot). If we are critical of one person's kink and consent guidelines then we are critical of everyone's kink. Please keep that in mind if you feel the need to marginalize anyone.